If I Stay
by Gayle Forman
High School     199 pp.     Dutton
4/09     978-0-525-42103-0      $16.99

What begins as the gift of a rare snow day in Portland, Oregon, turns suddenly into nightmare. Seventeen-year-old Mia drives off with her family on the unexpected holiday. A sudden explosion of metal, and Mia is looking at her dead parents sprawled on the asphalt, her little brother nowhere to be found. An ambulance arrives to take Mia’s body, bristling with tubes, to a trauma unit, and incorporeal Mia rides along. Distant kin to the dead narrators of The Lovely Bones et al., Mia hovers somewhere between life and death, watching surgeons bustle around her comatose body. An empathetic nurse clues Mia in that “she’s running the show” — that the choice to live or die belongs to Mia. Forman’s one-sitting page-turner moves easily between the present vigil and Mia’s past as she considers the ultimate choice. A talented classical cellist, Mia is deeply in love with punk-rock singer Adam, who has more in common musically with Mia’s formerly punk, effortlessly cool parents. As Mia holds out for Adam’s arrival at the hospital and considers the unbearable pain of living with so much loss, her best friend Kim reminds her that she does have family — all the relatives and friends out there pulling for her. Apart from a heavy-handed clunk or two (“I realize now that dying is easy. Living is hard”), the stakes are poignantly conveyed through Mia’s vivid memories of a rich, rewarding life.

From the July/August 2009 issue of The Horn Book Magazine.