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Sanaa Hamri’s
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
by Alicia Potter
Ann Brashares’s peripatetic trousers may
flatter four very different behinds, but there is one scenario in
which they prove to be a less-than-perfect fit: on the big screen.
Like its awkward 2005 predecessor, The Sisterhood of the Traveling
Pants 2 fails to stitch up the emotion and humor of the bestselling
series. Moreover, it crams events from the last three books into
a jolting mess of a soap opera. The good news? There are no more
installments left to mangle.
Director Sanaa Hamri, taking over for Ken Kwapis,
starts auspiciously enough. The film opens with a languorous pan
of the Pants, up their magically forgiving inseam, over their patched
and painted-on memories. Wistful voiceover narration by Carmen (America
Ferrera) and an efficient montage establish that she and her three
best friends have finished their first year of college. Yet the
time apart has taken its toll; there’s some uncharacteristic
sniping when they ceremoniously meet to set the rotation for the
wise, old jeans. Have the girls outgrown their ritual — and
each other? The quartet then parts ways for the summer: fiery Carmen
to a theater program in Vermont, edgy Tibby (Amber Tamblyn) to film-school
summer session at NYU, prudish Lena (Alexis Bledel) to figure-drawing
class in Providence, and wild Bridget (Blake Lively) to an archaeological
dig in Turkey.
It’s a lot to keep track of, and within
half an hour, Hamri loses control of her material. The narrative
lurches from girl to girl, location to location, for a ride that’s
bumpier than Bridget’s drive to the ruins. On the page, the
series’ strength is its handling of emotion, both quiet insights
and major meltdowns, and it’s forgivably, even enjoyably melodramatic
at times. However, here the tears and turmoil come off as overwrought,
whiny, and tedious. Waiting for Tibby to get her period does not
make for compelling cinema, and with such a jumpy pace, the calibrated
poignancy of the books is lost; even a knowing audience must work
to fill in the meaning behind the clichés.
Adding to the jumbled effect: screenwriter Elizabeth
Chandler slaps together story lines out of order. In the most egregious
instance, Tibby’s broken-condom freak-out (Book 4) coincides
with Carmen’s mother’s pregnancy (Book 3). The result
is an Afterschool Special-like morality tale: Tibby, already
scared sex-less, not only helps deliver the infant but then also
shows up later, lingering in the doorway with misty eyes, to catch
Carmen’s (ahem, married) mother and stepfather cuddling
with their newborn. Punishment enough?
It’s not the only disturbing departure.
Although women refreshingly dominate the film’s credits, and
Tibby at one point proclaims herself a feminist, the sequel’s
male characters steer much of the action. Carmen lands a role in
A Winter’s Tale not because of a savvy female casting
director, as Brashares writes, but due to the attention of a cute
British actor/love interest (Tom Wisdom). Meanwhile, Bridget’s
dad (woodenly played by the actress’s real-life father, Ernie
Lively) turns out to be a protective behind-the-scenes prince. And
like a sitting duck in a horror flick, Lena’s artist beau
(Jesse Williams, a flashy cross between Jude Law and Derek Jeter)
is a guaranteed goner once he confesses to not believing in “The
One.” Surely, though, not saintly Brian McBrian! He’s
played, in a nice surprise, by Asian actor Leonardo Nam but doesn’t
get much screen time once his Trojan ruptures.
As with the first adaptation, the chief pleasure
remains the spot-on casting of the leads. They may lack dimensionality,
but the characters are, generally, as likable as their literary
counterparts. Tamblyn pulls off her funny bits, Bledel is appropriately
fragile (if a tad stiff), and Ferrera shines, in particular her
scenes onstage as Shakespeare’s Perdita. Lively, the reigning
queen of YA adaptations with her role on TV’s Gossip Girl,
unfortunately gets saddled with the true telenovela moments.
Not that she’s the only one bordering on
camp. Far from it. Kyle MacLachlan, as the theater director looks
like he fell off a Clairol Just for Men box, and Blythe Danner does
her best Blanche DuBois as Bridget’s grandmother Greta. Then
there’s Shohreh Aghdashloo (House of Sand and Fog).
As a professor at the excavation, she stretches and purrs every
line in a voice that makes Lauren Bacall sound like a choirboy (“Archaeology
is more than just finding booooooones . . . ”).
Guilty charms notwithstanding, by the time the
gang heads to Greece, it’s hard not to feel as worn and frayed
as the jeans themselves. Indeed, at two hours long, this sequel,
like the never-been-washed denim, is ultimately way overripe.

Alicia
Potter, a Boston-based freelance writer, reviews films for the
Boston Phoenix and children’s books for FamilyFun.
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